Shatter
by FanGirlFreak16
Summary: I look at the phone on my stomach, wanting to feel a vibration or hear a slight ding. I knew that I wouldn't though. The guys stopped talking to me a long time ago, leaving me to deal with my family and battles alone. But they weren't their problems anyways. They had their own problems and families. So I just wallow in pain and silence, wanting to hear that they actually cared.
1. Chapter 1

I lied on my bed, the shouting of my parents echoing up into my room. I looked to the phone that lied on my stomach.

 _They told me whenever I needed to talk to just text them._

I had. But they didn't text back. They used to. They used to text back almost instantly. But the more that the years passed by the less they texted back. The less they talked to me. I almost felt isolated. Scratch that. I _did_ feel isolated.

I felt like screaming. I felt like crying. How much longer did I have to keep my 'happy mask' on? I tried to distract myself from the pain and isolation with things like writing and science and even a bit of music, but no matter what I did, I was always criticized.

 _It's like no matter what I do, I can't do it right._

Raphael didn't talk to me anymore. He stopped two months ago.

Leonardo didn't talk to me anymore. He stopped a month ago.

Michelangelo didn't talk to me anymore. He stopped a week ago.

I sighed. They had strong relationships with each of their parents. _I don't,_ I think bitterly.

Before I know it, my glasses are steamed up with fog. I place my index and middle finger against my cheek. _Funny,_ I think, _I hadn't realized that I had been crying._

I wasn't too sure about my mother's new boyfriend. He criticized me a lot. But he made my mother so happy. Joy I couldn't personally give her. I can't make her proud like the way I want to. She just needs _him_ to make her happy.

My father's girlfriend was nice. I liked her daughter very much. She was just as temperamental as Raphael. But I can't really bond with my father, or his girlfriend, and what can I do with my little sisters without being yelled at for a possible danger to themselves? I'm so much bigger than they are.

"Just one big failure." I mutter, hugging my pillow close to my chest.

" _Shut up, Donatello."_

" _Stop talking, Donatello."_

" _Can you do one thing right?"_

" _Hi." I had said cheerfully._

" _Bye." They had told me._

Isolation.

What an ugly word.

I hate that word.

Mainly because it pertains to me so much.

" _You have such a boring life."_

" _Have you created the world yet?"_

" _Stop talking!"_

" _Would you shut up?"_

I hate my voice.

It just gets me into more trouble than good. I've tried to become a mute before. It never lasted for more than three hours.

 _I want to change myself._

 _I just want people to like me._

 _Everyone I meet just runs away from me._

 _They hate me._

 _Am I really that bad an author?_

 _Scientist?_

 _Musician?_

"Don't get close to people," I had taught myself that a long time. "If you don't get close to anyone, you won't get hurt." Yet I didn't heed my own warnings. Now the guys are gone. And it hurts.

I just want to be cool.

I want people to think of me not as an outcast but as somebody. I want to matter. _How can I when people just tear me down?_

"What did I do wrong? I'm sorry." I say looking at the ceiling.

 _Shut up, Donatello._

"I'm sorry."

 _Shut up._

"I'm sorry."

 _I said shut up!_

I close my mouth.

 _Don't speak. It makes everything worse._

 _Maybe it actually does._

I look back to the cell phone on my stomach. It hadn't vibrated. It hadn't dinged. There was no sign of anyone trying to contact me.

No one cared.

 _Why do I insist on trying to fit in? Even your 'friends' don't talk to you._

 _What happened to you guys? Did I do something wrong?_

 _Leonardo, I thought of you as a big brother. You used to be protective of me. You used to allow me to confide in you. You_ _used_ _to._

 _Raphael, I thought of you as my older brother. You used to be protective of me. You used to fight for me. You used to care. You_ _used_ _to._

 _Michelangelo, I thought of you as my little brother. You used to always talk to me. You used to love doing stuff with me. You used to love seeing me walk through that door at school. to._

 _Michelangelo, I thought of you as my little brother. You used to always talk to me. You used to love doing stuff with me. You used to love seeing me walk through that door at school. You_ _used_ _to._

That's in the past.

We don't talk anymore.

We don't call anymore.

We don't text anymore.

I never actually realized how silent my phone was without you guys. Now it just sits there. It looks as if it could be turned off. I might as well just throw it out the window.

That's how silent it is.

It's worthless.

I have no other friends.

I hurt my ankle today.

Right in front of you guys.

You didn't care.

It still throbs in pain as it lies against the black bed sheet. I only wish that that mattered. Well, it doesn't. No one cares about the pain that tears me apart physically and mentally.

Do you know what it feels like?

Imagine someone taking your brain in their hands. Their bare, ice cold, dead, hands. Now imagine their sharp nails digging into the soft tissue of your fragile organ. Now imagine the tissue breaking into two pieces, one in each hand. A left brain, and a right brain. Now useless to you. They can't function. But they did feel that brief second of pain before they were completely torn into two.

My logic and emotions were at war.

My logic to fight in. To realize why everyone hates me.

My emotions such as sadness. Anger. Pain. Isolation.

They don't know which to let take over. At one moment I feel sad, then I feel as if I need to work. Then I feel angry, then I feel the need to write. Then I feel pain, then I feel the need to confide. Then I feel isolation, then I feel the need to ride my bike and see other people.

I watch my phone. I wait to hear a ding. I wait to feel any vibrations.

I wait.

I wait for four hours.

That's how desperate I am.

Four hours.

Then I fall asleep, tear streaks staining my face, my eyes _aching._

My phone slips off of my stomach.

It falls to the floor.

It smashes.

The glass breaks.

The microchips destroy.

The phone itself shatters.

 **Hey, guys. Today hasn't been a great one. I did hurt my ankle. I'm fine, though, I can assure you. It's just sore. It's just one of those days that you want to curl into a little ball and cry. I guess that Donatello is kind of me in this story. I was listening to the song 'When You're Gone' by Avril Laveign and I guess I just kind of wanted to right about my sucky day. Yeah, this was short and very upsetting, but it's how I feel, and I needed to write this. Please don't be upset that this is so sad because you guys make me so happy. I love to see that people actually enjoy my stories. So thanks for taking the time to read this. Did you like it, love it, hate it? Let me know. Your opinion matters. :)**


	2. Epilogue

You look at your phone, its red case flashing in the light. It had vibrated maybe twenty minutes ago yet you still hadn't answered it. Almost reluctantly, you take the phone into your hand and undo the passcode. Of course the texted had been from Donatello.

You had expected that.

 _Hey, Raphael, I know you haven't spoken to me in two months, but things at home are getting pretty bad. Text me?_

You sigh. Why hadn't you been texting him? Maybe it was because you were sick of being made fun of for hanging out with the dweeb.

"But he's like my little brother," You argue with yourself. "Have I really ignored him just to save my reputation?"

You tap the text bubble and begin to text back for the first time in two months.

 _Hey, Donatello, I'm sorry for ignoring you for so long. Talk to me?_

You press send.

You wait maybe an hour.

You begin to freak out.

 _Things get bad at his house,_ you think, _do you think his parents…no, they never go that far. But with the way he thinks…_

Your eyes snap open. "He could be in danger!" You say to yourself. You fling your door open and jump down the entire flight of stairs. You never touch one stair. You land right on the floor.

You run towards the front door and fling it open, not bothering to tell your own parents that you're going out for a bit. You run down the street.

 _He could be dead!_ You shout at yourself mentally. _He's always had low self-esteem! He could have broken tonight!_

You run towards his house, the cool, crisp, November air eating away at your bare skin that wasn't covered by your T-Shirt and ripped jeans. As you get near his house you see Leonardo and Michelangelo standing outside the door, pounding on the door.

No cars are there.

That could be good.

But that could be bad.

"No one's answering, and the door's locked." Leo tells you as you arrive at the front door.

"And his folks aren't here." Mikey adds.

You nod. "Stand back." You tell them. They obey you, and you take this chance to begin to ram into the door. You continue this.

 _One._

 _Two._

 _Three._

 _Four._

 _Five._

 _Six._

 _Seven._

 _Eight…_

 _Crack!_

The door flings open, the lock now lying on the floor broken. You along with Leonardo and Michelangelo run up the stairs towards Donatello's room. You fling the door open, the door smashing into the wall.

But that didn't seem to stir Donatello.

You along with the other two dart your eyes towards Donatello's bed. Your heart aches.

There he lies.

He's not in his PJ's.

He's not covered up.

He is breathing.

He has tear streaks along his face.

He's breathing through his mouth.

His left hand is resting on his stomach.

His right was still gripping his hair.

Your eyes direct towards the floor where you see his shattered phone. You walk over to it and kneel by it. "His phone was shattered." You say.

"How?" Mikey asks.

Your laugh is breathy and bitter and it only has one beat to it. "Any of our guesses, Mikey."

"He looks so pained." Leo tells the two of you.

"He's got no other friends besides us, Fearless." You remind him.

Leo sighs as he leans back against the wall. "If you can call us friends anymore. Look what we did to him."

You direct your eyes towards the resident genius. His ankle is bruised and swollen. You had seen him fall. You had heard the sickening _crack_. What had you done?

Nothing.

Because you were too worried that your reputation would be messed up. "Us being called friends isn't exactly an option here." You say, your Brooklyn accent as heavy as can be.

Mikey looks into your emerald green eyes with his own baby blue ones. "Do you think we can make it up to him?" He asked innocently.

You look back at the miserable looking teen with a mop of dirty-blonde hair. You cross your arms and lean back against the walls. "For all the heartbreak, pain, and misery we caused him? Not a chance. We can't make up for that, but we can maybe make a better future for him."

You watch as Mikey sits on the floor and leans back against Donatello's bed. "I was worried he was going to kill himself."

"Not alone there." Leo said, his ocean blue eyes closed, his dark brown bangs falling in his face.

You growl lightly, running a hand through your jet black hair. "Well, we're not going to let him do anything of the sort. We're here for him now, and he's not leaving our sides anytime soon."

The others nodded before resuming looking back at the purple teed teenager. "Should we, like, wake him up?" Mikey suggested.

You shrugged before looking back at Leo. "Should we?"

"Well," Leo said with a sigh, "he looks miserable in that sleep of his. Maybe we can brighten him up if we wake him up."

You look back at the bed and shrug, a new soft look in your eyes. You walk towards the bed and take his shoulder into you right hand. You gently shake him before shaking a bit harder.

He awakes with a jerk and with wide fearful eyes. When he realizes who is in the room, he slowly relaxes, but keeps his eyes alert. "Wh-What are you guys d-doing here?" He stuttered.

Mikey sat next to him on his bed, stroking his arm gently. "We were all worried you were going to do something drastic."

Donnie looked at Mikey, then at Leo, and finally at you. He stands up from his bed, tears once again falling from his eyes. From anger?

Despair?

Sorrow?

Betrayal?

You weren't quite sure.

"Just because you thought I was going to do something drastic you decided to stop ignoring me?! Is that it?! It's like I'm not even alive anymore! It's like you guys repaired my broken heart then one by one threw me under the bus! Just because you think that I'm going to take my life, you suddenly start to care?!" He asked as he limped.

Mikey shakes his head. "No, Don, you've got it all wrong!"

"Then what's the correct answer because as far as I know, my answer is the right answer! You guys completely left me when I needed you most! Do you know what that's like?!" Donatello asked in a fit of rage. "Do you know what it's like to be rejected by everyone you come across?!"

You look at him in sorrow and sympathy. Nonetheless, you take him by the shoulders and shake him. "Donatello," you yell, "get a grip, man! Stop yelling and listen to us! We're trying to talk to you!"

"I don't care about what you have to say!" He yelled back. "What could you possibly have to say after two months of not speaking to me?!"

Leo shook his head and gripped Donnie's shoulders into his hands. "Donnie!" He yelled in his face. "Listen to us! We're trying to speak to you, but you won't let us get two words in without yelling at us! We understand that your mad at us, and we haven't been there for you when we should have, but we want to be there for you now. We want to fix this." Leo said, his voice calming over the more he spoke.

Donnie shook his head, silent tears falling from his eyes. "You can't fix this. I'm way too broken. You can't fix anything."

"But we want to, Donnie," Mikey said as he placed a hand on Donnie's shoulder. "We really do."

Donnie shook his head again but said nothing. And as fast as he had yelled at everyone, he fell to his knees, pressing his hands against his face, hiding his wet eyes and trying to muffle the sobs in the flesh of his hands. Your eyes soften as you kneel down to his height along with the other two.

"We want to help you. We really do. We're sorry for being gone for so long. We were too worried about our reputations. But we've realized our mistakes, and we really do want to help. But you have to let us in." You tell him. He doesn't look up at you; he keeps his hands buried deep in his hands.

"I can't take it anymore," He tells you through strangled sobs. "E-Everyone hates me. I d-don't want to do this anymore."

"And you don't have to," You tell him. You grab his hands into yours and you look into his red, puffy, maroon eyes. "Not alone at least."

He smiles sadly at you and you smile back. And all together he collapses into your chest. And you all hug him.

You.

Leo.

Mikey.

All of you do.

Maybe it's because you just realized how much damage you had actually caused him.

Who knows?

All that matters is that he was safe and in your arms.

 **A second chapter was created due to everyone _needing_ to know what happened next. Lol you guys are awesome! Anyways, did you like it, love it, hate it? Let me know. Your opinion matters. :)**


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